Copyright infringement mails

We get quite some “copyright infringement” mails. Below are some funny quotes from these mails.


From a WebSheriff mail: “Intructions” we should immediately comply with:
You must undertake to take out a half-page advertisements in Billboard Magazine, Music Week Magazine and Music & Media Magazine within fourteen (14) days of the date hereof clarifying the fact that (a) your usage of Trademark, the Masters, the Compositions and the Goodwill was not authorised by or otherwise associated with our client, (b) the services offered by you under the Trademark, the Masters, the Compositions and the Goodwill were not offered by or on behalf of our client and (c) you are no longer trading either under or otherwise by use of the Trademark, the Masters, the Compositions and the Goodwill. Furthermore, the said advertisement must include an apology to our client.
From a GrayZone DMCA mail:
I, the undersigned, do solemnly and sincerely declare and CERTIFY UNDER PENALTY OF PERJURY that…
-snip-
Finally, notwithstanding our use of this required notice form, we believe that www.mininova.org ‘s activities and services fall outside the scope of the Digital Millennium Copyright Act (“DMCA”). Our use of this form, as required by law, is meant to facilitate www.mininova.org ‘s removal of the infringing materials listed above and is not meant to suggest or imply that www.mininova.org ‘s activities and services are within the scope of the DMCA.
More examples of these DMCA notices can be found here.